Chores and children

Chores and Children:

Many parents are unsure about whether or not they should introduce a family roster allocating chores to each member of the family and importantly, whether children should be rewarded for completing these chores.

What we do know is that children love to imitate adults and if you watch their play they often are pretending to be grown ups! I recently saw an amazing post on Facebook where a young child was given the choice of an adult objects of daily living (keys, remotes, phones, iPads) and an age appropriate toy and every time the little child played with the adult object and tossed the toy.

We also know that children are hardwired to please adults and seek recognition and validation. Children love to be praised.

Creating a roster can unify the family as one unit whereby everyone does their little bit. From about the age of 3 or 4 a young child can be allocated simple, age appropriate tasks, increasing in complexity as the child develops. The important thing about creating the roster is that it is a democratic process, discussed with all family members, and each chore negotiated accordingly to a sense of fairness and respecting competing demands family members may have. For example, if a child has sports training on certain nights of the week it might not be appropriate that the child is expected to walk the family dog on that particular night. The roster will not unify the family if it is not applied fairly or if some family members are exempt for no particular reason. Also, it is a non threatening way to teach children how to perform and master household chores as well.

The question remains: should children be rewarded by money or treats for completing their allocated chores? That is a decision up to each family, however reflecting on the research presented, it is not necessary but it is not harmful. Like so many aspects of parenting, there is no right or wrong. It is what works for your family unit based on your values, goals and beliefs.